Victims, Villains, Heroes – What Characters Are Blocking Your Success?

Leadership is a choice and sometimes we chose not to act in a leadership way. The opposite of leadership is not management – it’s DRAMA. Our favorite movies, books, and TV shows all have villains, victims, and heroes. We identify with all these characters in different ways, since at times we play them all, both at work and at home. Why is that?

The answer is simple – Drama is Easy and Kinda Fun!

This leadership thing takes a lot of time and energy. Accountability, visionary thinking, being a catalyst for others, listening, and patience – just wears us out. And frankly, we have learned that even with our best effort we may not make progress. We may not advance our career or relationships in a way we expected or deserve given all our hard work. So, it’s much easier to sit back and blame others or situations and voila – we look better.

Make fun of others in order to get ahead! We’re kind of good at it, as we have so many examples of how to do it from TV and movies. My leadership coach and friend, Tom Schulte, reminded me this discussion is like the scales of justice, where we are on one scale, and “the other guy” is next to us on the other scale. If we just dump a bag of junk or mud on their scale – they go down and we go up. So one way to look better to our bosses and family is to dump on the other guy.

Blame Game

“Hey, its not my fault.”

“I did my best. “

“I told them, they didn’t listen.”

“It’s not my job – outta my hands.”

These are the battle cries, banners and anthems of the Drama People.

Victims – Their stories are of the poor “woe, is me” nature. “There’s nothing I can do!” Which is simply a way of saying – “I’m still a great performer or person – don’t judge me like others because my territory/department/situation is different.” Sadly the victim doesn’t see that everybody’s territory is different. They can only give themselves a framework for communicating to others that demands “I can’t be judged badly because of situations out of my control – neither me nor my efforts.”

The Success Formula is E+R=O. The EVENT or situation at hand + our RESPONSE to it = the OUTCOME.

As we play the victim, it sadly becomes a recording we play over and over again to ourselves and to others, minimizing our ability to use imagination, inspire creativity, find new options, put in extra effort, and recognize the small wins.

Villains – The villains’ stories are the flipside of being overly assertive, persistent or determined and it looks like being too aggressive, belittling or demanding. We act as villains when we attack others and call them incompetent, lazy, or worthless. All this is our easy way of getting out on top. We make others the reason we aren’t winning by telling, yelling, scolding, gossiping and holding them down. We then look more right, knowledgeable, or valuable, but sadly, only in our minds or to ourselves and not to anybody else.

Heroes – Heroes say, “Ok, I’ll do it” to everything. We are smarter than they are, and we can take on more, including other people’s work.” That way Heroes can say later, “Look how busy I am,” explaining away our poor results. “They don’t know enough or aren’t capable enough; I’ll rescue you from you.” “Look out, get out of my way.” “It’s just easier for me to do this myself than count on you.” We sometimes think we’re coaching people when, as heroes, what we are really doing is correcting behaviors. There is a BIG DIFFERENCE! Coaching is to assist them in being the best they can be, correcting oftentimes is assisting them to be the best us. We can control people (compliance) or grow people (commitment), but we can’t do both.

As heroes we do all our work and theirs too. We take the credit and marvel at our achievements, only to have others feel like their opinion doesn’t matter. If we don’t allow risk taking, even if it does sometimes end in mistakes, they don’t get to learn or grow. “I never learned a thing from the putts I made” ~ Jack Nicklaus.

This drama is throughout our business and personal lives. We all, at times, go into this drama mode. It’s simply knowing when we’re there that becomes important. I share with people I work with that if we are in drama mode, “ok, let’s play around in this sandbox for a few minutes. Let’s place the blame on the other department not understanding us (we don’t understand them either) or others who say and do the wrong thing, or make stupid mistakes (of course that’s others – never us). Then we say, trying to be more like the leaders we strive to be, “Ok, we’ve ripped that up pretty good – what can we own (being accountable), and how can we make this better (being visionary), and win going forward (being a catalyst)?”

Drama can dominate our thinking and actions, if we let it, because we see it as entertainment. Or, if, as we now know more about the villain, victim, and hero characters that are blocking our success, then we can chose to be a positive leader instead of a Negative Nellie.

Which of these statements applies to you?

½ in-      “I will do my best”

All in-    “I will learn and figure out a better way and do whatever it takes!”


Leadership truly is a Choice!


  1. I simply needed to appreciate you once again. I’m not certain what I would have worked on without the type of secrets documented by you over this topic. It has been the challenging condition in my position, but taking note of this specialised mode you dealt with that took me to leap with fulfillment. I am just grateful for this advice and in addition sincerely hope you realize what a powerful job you are carrying out training others through the use of your web page. More than likely you’ve never come across any of us.

  2. Many thanks for sharing these kind of wonderful threads. In addition, the right travel as well as medical insurance plan can often eliminate those concerns that come with touring abroad. Some sort of medical crisis can in the near future become extremely expensive and that’s bound to quickly put a financial load on the family finances. Having in place the ideal travel insurance offer prior to leaving is definitely worth the time and effort. Thanks

  3. Erectile Dysfunction Drugs Online Chlamydia Pills Online Kamagra Gelee viagra Online Pharmacy No Dr Prescriptions isotretinoin where to purchase Be Tab Prednisone 5 Mg

  4. Good post. I learn one thing more difficult on completely different blogs everyday. It is going to always be stimulating to learn content from other writers and apply a little one thing from their store. I’d favor to make use of some with the content on my blog whether or not you don’t mind. Natually I’ll provide you with a hyperlink on your internet blog. Thanks for sharing.

  5. Awesome site you have here but I was curious about if you knew of any discussion boards that cover the same topics talked about in this article? I’d really love to be a part of online community where I can get opinions from other experienced people that share the same interest. If you have any recommendations, please let me know. Appreciate it!

  6. Buy Celebrex Celecoxib 200 Mg cialis vs viagra Cialis Effets Negatifs Cialis Viagra Levitra Comparison

  7. Viagra Erfahrungsberichte Nebenwirkungen 24 Hour Shipping Viagra Prix Cytotec Jean generic cialis canada Cephalexin Is Used To Treat

  8. Vendita Levitra Generico Propecia Rabia Venta De Viagra Concepcion priligy mercadolibre ecuador Aldara Kamagra Sin Receta

  9. I love reading an article that can make people think. Also, many thanks for permitting me to comment!

  10. I love your wordpress template, wherever do you obtain it from?

  11. What i don’t realize is actually how you are not actually much more well-liked than you may be right now. You are so intelligent. You realize thus considerably relating to this subject, produced me personally consider it from so many varied angles. Its like women and men aren’t fascinated unless it’s one thing to accomplish with Lady gaga! Your own stuffs excellent. Always maintain it up!

  12. We’re a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community. Your website provided us with valuable information to work on. You’ve done an impressive job and our entire community will be thankful to you.

  13. Hello buddy. It was hard to find this article in google.
    It’s not even in top 10. You should focus on hq links from high authority sites in your niche.
    I know of a very effective free method to get strong backlinks and instant traffic.
    The best thing about this method is that you start getting clicks
    right away. For more details search in google for: masitsu’s tricks

  14. Excellent blog! Do you have any recommendations for aspiring writers? I’m planning to start my own site soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I’m totally overwhelmed .. Any suggestions? Bless you!

  15. Hi! I realize this is sort of off-topic however I
    needed to ask. Does running a well-established blog like yours require a large amount of work?
    I am completely new to operating a blog but I do write
    in my journal every day. I’d like to start a blog so I can easily share my own experience and feelings online.
    Please let me know if you have any recommendations or tips for brand new aspiring bloggers.


  16. Guys, I gotta boast. I found a hottie online who undressed for me.
    Just check my url.

  17. I’d like to find out more? I’d care to find out some additional information.

  18. I blog often and I seriously appreciate your content. This article
    has really peaked my interest. I will take a note of your site and keep checking for
    new details about once a week. I opted in for your RSS feed too.

  19. Wonderful article! We will be linking to this particularly great article on our website.
    Keep up the great writing.

  20. Brown Recluse Keflex Celias From Cananda Buy Cialis Cialis 20mg 8 St Zithromax How Supplied Lisinopril Overdose

  21. It is actually a nice and useful piece of information. I am happy that you shared this helpful information with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.

  22. Hmm it looks like your site ate my first comment (it was extremely long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I wrote and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I as well am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to the whole thing. Do you have any recommendations for beginner blog writers? I’d genuinely appreciate it.

  23. naturally like your web-site but you need to check the spelling on several of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling problems and I find it very troublesome to tell the truth nevertheless I’ll surely come back again.

  24. you’re actually a good webmaster. The web site loading pace is incredible. It seems that you are doing any distinctive trick. Moreover, The contents are masterwork. you’ve performed a magnificent job on this matter!

  25. Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an very long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyways, just wanted to say fantastic blog!

  26. Good post. I be taught one thing tougher on different blogs everyday. It will all the time be stimulating to learn content from other writers and practice a bit of one thing from their store. I’d want to make use of some with the content on my weblog whether or not you don’t mind. Natually I’ll offer you a hyperlink in your net blog. Thanks for sharing.

  27. An outstanding share! I’ve just forwarded this onto a friend who was conducting a little research on this. And he actually bought me breakfast due to the fact that I found it for him… lol. So let me reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending time to discuss this matter here on your web page.

  28. A fascinating discussion is definitely worth comment. I do believe that you need to write more on this subject, it might not be a taboo subject but generally people don’t discuss these subjects. To the next! Many thanks!!

  29. cialis average wholesale price medications without a doctor’s prescription can you really buy viagra online

  30. order viagra mexico when will cialis be over the counter

  31. Jilhfp sjpbwq Cialis buy online when will cialis be over the counter

  32. online cialis cialis thailand buy

  33. order viagra from usa cialis tadalafil buy online

  34. buy cialis cheap online cheap viagra no prescription online

  35. viagra buy malaysia buy viagra glasgow

  36. order viagra online nz – kaletra generic viagra sale boots pharmacy

  37. order viagra mexico – buy Azithromycin buy generic viagra cialis

  38. viagra buy online australia – Azithromycin online where to buy levitra online no prescription

  39. buy viagra at walmart – plaquenil edu buy viagra allowed html tags

  40. buy genuine viagra – hydroxychloroquine 200 mg price in india cheap levitra

  41. buy viagra vancouver – viagra online liquid cialis for sale

  42. cialis buy in australia – buy cialis order viagra pfizer

  43. cheap cialis uk – cialis online cheap levitra generic

  44. can you order cialis – generic viagra can you buy viagra in thailand

  45. generic viagra 100mg
    buy viagra online generic

  46. viagra
    where can i get cheap cialis

  47. generic viagra 100mg
    safe place to buy cialis

  48. viagra
    can buy cialis canada

  49. viagra without doctor prescription
    is it legal to order viagra from canadian

  50. buy viagra
    cialis canada discount

  51. viagra
    cialis buy paypal

  52. viagra online
    cialis 20 mg 4 tablet fiyat

  53. buy viagra
    cheap viagra paypal payment

  54. sildenafil
    cialis for cheap

  55. free cialis here
    viagra vs cialis vs levitra

  56. viagra vs cialis buy cialis
    cialis pills

  57. how much does viagra cost viagra without a doctor prescription
    sildenafil citrate generic viagra 100mg

  58. how much is viagra viagra without a doctor prescription
    how does viagra work

  59. cialis 30 day trial coupon current cost of cialis 5mg cvs
    best liquid cialis

  60. cialis samples request cialis coupon code
    viagra or cialis

  61. Hello, after version this awesome paragraph
    i am too well-chosen to divvy up my familiarity hither with friends.

  62. Hello, later recitation this awe-inspiring paragraph i am also well-chosen to divvy up my liberty hither with friends.

  63. viagra erection: cost of viagra per pill buy levitra with paypal

  64. herbal viagra: viagra prescription safe place buy levitra

  65. Great info. Lucky me I found your site by chance (stumbleupon). I have saved it for later!

  66. سایت پوکر آنلاین استار بت پوکر معتبر ترین سایت پوکر آنلاینبت بی شک یکی از سالمترین سایتهای پوکر
    آنلاین پولی میباشد که دارای سریعترین کشوات در میان سایتهای
    پوکر ایران است

  67. ed prescription drugs prescription without a doctor’s prescription legal to buy prescription drugs from canada

  68. Знаете ли вы?
    Американский лейтенант из конвоя PQ-17 был спасён советским танкером и наладил его оборону от авианалётов.
    Каждая шестая яркая галактика во Вселенной очень сильно испускает газы.
    Художник-карикатурист известен пародией на мунковский «Крик».
    «С любимыми не расставайтесь…» автор написал после того, как чуть не погиб в железнодорожной катастрофе.
    Синим цветом своих футболок «Скуадра адзурра» обязана Савойе.

  69. buy anti biotics without prescription pet antibiotics without vet prescription buy prescription drugs online

  70. Thanks for your publication. One other thing is always that individual states in the United states of america have their particular laws that will affect homeowners, which makes it very difficult for the our elected representatives to come up with a brand new set of guidelines concerning property foreclosure on property owners. The problem is that a state has own laws and regulations which may work in an adverse manner in regards to foreclosure plans.

  71. ثبت نام سایت پوکر الین پوکر
    یکی از محبوب ترین بازی های کارتی در چند دهه اخیر به حساب
    می آید و ترکیب شانس و مهارت که با توجه به پارمتر
    هایی چون شمارش، ریسک پذیری و تحلیل آنی می باشد که همواره در افزایش جذابیت
    این بازی نقش به سزایی داشته است
    و در این جا نحوه انجام دادن بازی
    پوکر و قوانین پوکر را برای شما بازگو
    خوهیم کرد.

  72. پوکر هاوس قدیمی ترین سایت پوکر پولی انلاین است ولی اگه پوکر باز باشید می دانید که با این سابقه سایت آروم
    و بی سر و صدایی است . این بخاطر امنیت بالا و تمام خدمات خاصی که به شما کاربران عزیز میده
    و تا الان هیچ شکایتی مبنی برغیر معتبر بودن این سایت گزارشی
    نرسیده است

  73. وبسایت پوکر آنلاین ویلون پوکر ویلون پوکر با تیمی بسیار قوی و قدیمی در حرفه خود شروع به کار کرده
    و با کشوت منظم، پشتیبانی سریع،افرهای
    متنوع و جذاب، تورنمنت های میلیونی و ….
    پذیرای شما عزیزان میباشد.

    همچنین این وبسایت با داشتن کادری مجرب و حرفه
    ای توانسته خیلی سریع در بین پوکر بازان محبوبیت پیدا کند و این امر موجب خوشحالی ما می باشد

    اگر شما هم از علاقه مندان به پوکر هستید همین حالا به وبسایت ما بپیوندید تا لذت
    بازی پوکر با پوکر بازان ایرانی را بچشید

  74. Best Private Proxies – 50 Lower price + 100 free Proxies! Snobs high-quality, Unlimited bandwith, 1000 mb/s superspeed, 99,9 uptime, Neo step by step IP’s, Simply no utilising disadvantages, Many subnets, USA and also Eu proxies – Get At this point –

  75. Hi, I would like to subscribe for this blog to take newest updates, so where can i do it please help out.

  76. Знаете ли вы?
    Клирик-саксонец стать папой римским не захотел, а патриархом Севера не смог.
    Англичане купили заказанную португальцами рукопись голландца и бельгийца с изображениями монархов десяти королевств.
    Художник-карикатурист известен пародией на мунковский «Крик».
    Перечень имён может быть самостоятельным поэтическим жанром.
    Подруга и последовательница Льва Толстого уже в детстве ходила босиком и отвергала нарядную одежду.


  77. Знаете ли вы?
    Плата за проезд в последний путь у древних была скорее символической.
    Консервативные художественные критики обрушились на портрет девушки, называя её гермафродитом, дочерью Каина и проституткой.
    Подруга и последовательница Льва Толстого уже в детстве ходила босиком и отвергала нарядную одежду.
    Издательство «Шиповник» было задумано для публикации сатиры, однако вместо неё печатало Лагерлёф, Бунина и Джерома Джерома.
    В 1941 году в московскую «Писательскую роту» пришли добровольцами бывший вор и следователь ЧК.

  78. Знаете ли вы?
    Искусствоведы спорили, смирилась ли со скорой смертью неизлечимо больная женщина на картине русского художника, а она прожила ещё 37 лет.
    Англичане купили заказанную португальцами рукопись голландца и бельгийца с изображениями монархов десяти королевств.
    Перечень имён может быть самостоятельным поэтическим жанром.
    Синим цветом своих футболок «Скуадра адзурра» обязана Савойе.
    Китай реализует в Пакистане собственный План Маршалла.

  79. Nice blog here! Also your site loads up fast! What host are you using?

    Can I get your affiliate link to your host?
    I wish my website loaded up as quickly as yours lol

  80. Hello i am kavin, its my first time to commenting anyplace, when i read this piece of
    writing i thought i could also make comment due to this
    good post.

  81. Hi there, just became alert to your blog through Google, and found that
    it’s really informative. I’m gonna watch out for brussels.
    I will be grateful if you continue this in future.
    Lots of people will be benefited from your
    writing. Cheers!

  82. switching from tamsulosin to cialis cialis generic

  83. Saved as a favorite, I love your blog!

  84. generic for cialis generic viagra

  85. I keep listening to the rumor talk about receiving boundless online grant applications so I have been looking around for the top site to get one. Could you tell me please, where could i get some?

  86. Simply desire to say your article is as astounding.
    The clarity in your publish is just nice and that i could suppose you’re a professional in this subject.
    Well with your permission allow me to seize your RSS feed to stay up to date
    with coming near near post. Thank you a million and please continue the gratifying

  87. I constantly spent my half an hour to read this weblog’s content everyday along with a mug of coffee.

  88. What’s up, just wanted to mention, I liked this post.
    It was inspiring. Keep on posting!

  89. Hi to all, how is all, I think every one is getting more from this
    web page, and your views are good designed for new visitors.

  90. cialis online pharmacy: cialis without doctor prescription

  91. generic cialis without prescription: cialis prices

  92. Знаете ли вы?
    Один из старейших музеев Амстердама находится в церкви на чердаке.
    Подруга и последовательница Льва Толстого уже в детстве ходила босиком и отвергала нарядную одежду.
    Фиктивно отменить рабство в Камбодже её короля заставили французские колонизаторы.
    В 1941 году в московскую «Писательскую роту» пришли добровольцами бывший вор и следователь ЧК.
    Предок вождя революции участвовал в управлении долгами Российской империи.


  93. Знаете ли вы?
    Не удержавшись от писательства, Амалия Кахана-Кармон создала одну из важнейших книг в истории Израиля.
    Команды тренера года АБА и НБА ни разу не стали в них финалистками.
    Преподаватель нескольких университетов, попавший в сталинские лагеря, и там умудрился обучать математике на куске мыла.
    Бывший наркокурьер, став премьер-министром Юкона, принимал законы против наркомании и наркоторговли.
    Фиктивно отменить рабство в Камбодже её короля заставили французские колонизаторы.


  94. Знаете ли вы?
    Советский разведчик-нелегал создал в Европе разведгруппу, успешно проработавшую всю войну.
    Перечень имён может быть самостоятельным поэтическим жанром.
    Американский лейтенант из конвоя PQ-17 был спасён советским танкером и наладил его оборону от авианалётов.
    «Голова крестьянина» хранилась в доме у немецкой актрисы.
    Англичане купили заказанную португальцами рукопись голландца и бельгийца с изображениями монархов десяти королевств.

Leave a Reply